The Rise and Rise of Sisyphus

We become entrepreneurs because we are an unhappy bunch of clods.  Our joy is in rolling the boulder uphill, knowing that it will roll back down so we can roll it up again.

It is weird how you can take recourse to Greek mythology to drive home a point or obfuscate the issue. For years I kept saying entrepreneurs are like Prometheus, who stole fire from the fire gods, maverick daredevils. Now in the same breath, I am saying, the entrepreneur is this mythical monster, much like the accursed Sisyphus, king of Corinth. He was charismatic and crafty, dynamic and devious, inventive and enervating. And he was a victim of his own hubris.

Zeus cursed him that since he seemed to think no end of himself, he should spend the rest of his life rolling a huge boulder up the hill only to have it rolling back all the way down. The curse was that there would be no respite from this iterative act.

Did you say, this description of Sisyphus so sounds like the profile of an entrepreneur? If you did, then you are probably one too, for having recognized your doppelganger. Indeed, an entrepreneur is all of this and more. It is the intensity of schizophrenia that makes him successful or otherwise. Too much sweat, too many tears. And by far, very few lucid moments to revel in, in neverland. It is a travesty that entrepreneurs set out to make people happy, but they themselves remain singularly, pulsatingly, agonizingly unhappy. Let me tell you a story to illustrate this.

About four years ago, Srivatsan, co-founder of a Mumbai-based advertising agency, sought my help in fixing a problem. He and his co-founder, Pradip (both names changed) had decided to split and Srivatsan wanted to buy Pradip out. He wanted my help in ensuring that it would be a fair deal to both and the documentation would be word-perfect.

Srivatsan also told me that he and Pradip had been buddies since school, and as neighbours, knew each other’s families well. He assured me that Pradip was a damn cool guy and there would be no hardball negotiation.

I was to meet both of them at the Hyatt in Mumbai to initiate the discussion. Srivatsan was already there when I walked into the lobby and we ordered coffee as we waited for Pradip. I sat watching the door and 10 minutes later, Pradip walked in with a suited-booted, hair-gelled guy who screamed hotshot lawyer (hereinafter referred to as HSL) from head to toe. It turned out that he was a corporate lawyer from a marquee law firm. Alarm bells rang in my head as to why a damn cool guy who is his chuddy-buddy thought it fit to hire a law firm which charged money for letting you breathe in their air! Srivatsan however seemed unperturbed and we dispensed with niceties and cut to the chase.

HSL opened a sheaf of papers. He said, we don’t want to waste your time, there is no point in discussion, the valuation we are looking at is 23 times the topline, so just wanted to let you know we will be drafting the exit document accordingly. My jaw dropped so much that not all the staples of the world could hold it in place!

In equally measured tones I said, well, industry practice is 5 to 8 times revenue, in exceptional cases. If the order book for the next three years is eye-poppingly robust, it can go up to 10, but 23 is simply out of question. All I got was a politely raised eyebrow in reply (Is ‘how to use different parts of your face to unnerve your opponent’ part of their induction programme?). We all shook hands and Pradip and HSL left. Srivatsan had not uttered a single word. Nor did he seem disconcerted by what I considered this ginormous number. He said, don’t worry, this lawyer has ‘behakaoed’ him, Pradip is a good guy, I will talk to him and make him see sense.

Needless to say, Pradip would not have retained HSL if he wanted to talk sense. So after two months of going nowhere, we were back at the negotiation table, this time to conclude, as Srivatsan in his wisdom had decided he would go ahead with their foolhardy (and to my mind, soul-crushing) number.

Papers were drawn up, I was seething like brimstone at hell’s kitchen and I kept hoping HSL would collapse from bubonic plague so we didn’t have to sign this one-sided deal. I hated Srivatsan more than Pradip at this point, so go figure! Mechanically I pulled all the documents from my bag and put them in front of HSL and Pradip. In my most mellifluous voice, I asked Pradip to first sign the valuation sheet. He did, with smug flourish. Then I put the signed sheet in front of HSL and told him in a cold baritone, now that you have agreed to this valuation, you buy us out! (by the way, this kind of reversal of negotiation tactics is called shotgun negotiation).

HSL sprung out of the chair, for a moment became confused with whether it was politically correct to call me female dog, and the next few minutes are blurry as fecal matter hit the fan! I have never batted my eyelids in a sexual encounter but that day I did, and acted quite the coquette too.

To cut a long story short, Srivatsan sold his stake, exited the company and with the kind of money he made from the sale I was sure he must have set sail to the Bahamas to spend the rest of his life as a lotus-eater!

The story should have ended here but for the fact that even after 90 days, my bank account did not reflect my fee. So I called Srivatsan. He sounded singularly pissed and bored. When I reminded him of my payment, he said, why should I pay you, I retained you so I could buy my partner out, instead you made me sell and now I have no job, no company!

I gently reminded him that he had instead a gold pot in the bank and nothing stopped him from starting as many companies as he chose and becoming employable as many times. To which his reply was, sure, but I have to again think of a new name, get office space, paint a new board, yadda yadda yadda!

That was the day it came to me. We become entrepreneurs because we are an unhappy bunch of clods.  Our joy is in rolling the boulder uphill, knowing that it will roll back down so we can roll it up again. The day Zeus’ magic stops working and the boulder stays up, that will be the day of the apocalypse!